Back at it.. with some news

Hello, friends!

Wow, it's been awhile! Creeping up on a year since I last blogged. I kept promising to get back at blogging.. to blog our honeymoon to Moorea and Bora Bora, etc. but time kept slipping away and then my computer started acting like a fool. I always got so frustrated and just left my posts in draft and stepped away thinking I'd get back to them. Lies.

A lot.. loooot has happened the past several months... and I'm not just talking about the 20lbs I gained. Life is busy with the seven kiddos here. Seems ridiculous, right? I should have tons of down time.. why can't they just take care of themselves? So rude.

One of the biggest things to happen this past year... and I still can't wrap my mind around it.. my husband getting the call for him to deploy. For a year.

A damn year. He leaves in July.

I might be crying.. I literally have cried daily since he told us. It's so random. I'll literally fold his underwear and start tearing up because it's something that'll be missing from my life soon. Ladies, don't take being able to fold your man's chonies for granted!!

OK, seriously though. The thought of him leaving the kids and I for a year is just.. like I really can't think about it or imagine it. I have never done this before and I keep asking him, "How can you just go for a year?" It seems so crazy to me. How do they just take our people from us for so long?! UGH!

The kicker is he was so close to retirement from the Navy. Soooo close. We were both holding out hope he could just lay low until he could retire.. nope. I am sad and just...angry. I have been going through a mix of emotions from sadness to anger. I need to stop being angry though. I am not mad at him.. I am mad at the situation. I am sad because.. well.. we will miss him so damn much. He is my person.

I am very dependent on my husband. It's just who I am. I enjoy his company so much and he is such a 'calm' for me. I like to be taken care of and loved and he is so good at loving me. He does so much around the house to help me. Usually on weekends that he is home I basically just get to sit. He takes care of dinners, etc. He let's me unwind. Yes, I kinda sound like a spoiled brat right now *pouts*, but whatever! We are very close. He is literally my best friend. I don't know how I will do any of this without him. I knew he was still in the Navy when we got together.. he has told me many times this could happen *plugs ears* "Lalalaaa, I can't hear you!". Nothing really prepares you for 'the call'. The last time I felt actual heartbreak like this was when my dad died.

This is all so different for me. I barely get through him being away for a week or two for his regular work travel. All the military spouses I have talked to say you just take one day at a time. But like.. dude.. there's a lot of friggin' days!

Anyhow, I can go on and on about this right now.. but the whole reason I am back at this blog thing is because I told him, if he is leaving, I NEED things to do. Like.. now. I have to keep my mind busy. We have been talking about getting me a new computer for awhile. Finally bit the bullet last week so I can keep my mind busy with blogging again. Even if nobody is reading, it's good to 'talk'.

SO.. hello, again. I will do a post soon kinda updating on where we are and what all has been going on. I did get a little doggy in January.. A yorkie named Winnie.. I mentioned that now because she is currently protecting me from the painted lady butterflies that are all over. They are migrating through here and love our lilac bushes.. but.. they are apparently killers and my 6lb dog is all about the protection on her mama! Fact: Butterflies are scared of barking rats.